ROCK IS DEAD. && paper killed it!

i understand tat Scissors can beat Paper, && i get how Rock can beat Scissors..but there's NO effing way Paper can beat Rock!

Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile?
why the hell cant Paper do tiz to Scissors? screw Scissors!
why cant Paper do tiz to people? why arent sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?

i'll tell you why..
because Paper cant beat anybody! a Rock would tear tat shit up in 2 seconds.
when i play Rock/Paper/Scissors, i always choose Rock..then when somebody claims to have beaten me wit their Paper..i can punch them in the face wit my already clenched fist and say, "ohh shit! am sorry..i thought Paper would protect you, asshole",!

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