21.11.09

MPD much? [[multiple personality disorder]]

she's an extrovert.
she's too loud.
she's sensitive.
she's sweet.

AND she's definitely someone i dont know.
what i know of is someone who got the exact opposites of those adjectives..i even thought tat she's dead && would NEVER reappear on planet Earth..but as always, she proved me wrong. arrrgh! when can i ever outwit her huh?! i thought she died of cardiovascular disease for almost a dozen year now..maybe the ghosts of past denial && animadversion woke her up from her almost eternal sleep in the quietest place on planet: the graveyard.

i kinda hate her presence. i cant read her like a book..i think she has a bipolar disorder. on the second thought..i cant change her because tat's the way she is..now && then.
i know i can no longer hold her && put her back to the cemetery where she truly belongs..she's resurfaced && back in FULL FORCE. bring it on, grrl!

however..i also missed her because she makes me feel alive and numb.
she was once a girl who exuded wit confidence..but lost it when some silly person brought her to the core of the Earth && made her declare defeat. now tat things have changed..she's going to use those criticisms as her stepping stones toward fullness of life..happiness at last! XD doing tat is easy since she has the genes of her infamous mother && exceptional father. \m/
what’s difficult for her is timing. all she needs is time to actualize the plan..tat is her catch-21 since time immemorial. she's the greatest wallflower of all time..however fate dictated the otherwise..she can never blend wit the crowd simply because she is destined to stand out..but then again, she never believed in herself.
she keeps on nurturing on problems tat resided in her head && agonizing herself wit second guesses and self-doubt..those things may have added a vast amount of seriousness && depth to her psyche..but now, it's time for her to burst into child-like chuckle && enjoy life! doncha agree? XD

her life is too short to waste it wit sulking..she has been given one more chance [[&& probably the last]] to "reformat",) her life xo she should try her best not to disappoint them tiz time around. she made a mistake once..repetition is tantamount to death penalty! one wrong move && she'll be dead..AGAIN. she's always telling the people tat she's busy..only to realize tat the outrageously occupied person is sometimes running from thoughts she doesnt want to face..hibernation is her forte..maybe it is her mind's way of avoiding a big issue. she automatically switches off when threatened wit things she fear..hiding behind a stoic face is her second best in order to stay away from emotions tat she doesnt want to feel..unfortunately, the more you run..the more you will be chased..hihi

i really cant understand her logic as to why she conceals herself wit plain stupidity && apparent animosity!? she has xooo many things to offer..
why cant she see tat?? maybe she's blind..or pretending to be. lol.
she better use those gifts before any one picks them up && own them forever..she must do it or else..hey, wait a minute! why am i giving such an advice when in the first place tat girl is ME?? stupid jedd! tsk. =)))))

4 comments:

J-E-B-A said...

sunggO ahOng iLOng party girL duh. gnahan kO

igatmate said...

i luv this! =)
i knew it the 1st place that it was u...igat! heheh

Kattt said...

Easy to say much relcky.

Anonymous said...

Humans as we are. We have flaws.
Life as always, is a challenge.