19.4.11

save me


i honestly dont wanna write..but i dont know what pushed me to do xo.
am just xoo lost right now. i am my pop's strongest sperm but i dont think i still am.. :c

i just cant handle it anymore! i have xoooo many questions in my mind..but i cant even utter them to words. shit! am just too weak to face the truth..am afraid i might fall into tears if i hear the answers i wish i never heard. my mind is xoo confused right now. :l
i dont know what to do wit myself anymore..&& as i am typing tiz blog, gravity is starting to pull my tears down. T_T

am going crazy!
people see me as a very happy-go-lucky person..i always show them my smile tat would somehow put smiles on their faces too. i try not to cry && i always tell people it's okay..tat it's going to be okay. but the truth is, i am the great pretender. [[from now on, call me "Ms. Eccedentesiast"]]
am the greatest liar in the world‼
i am very emotional. every night, every dawn, and every morning && afternoon..during my freetime wit myself, i always spend it crying..i have never been tiz happy in my whole entire life before but ironically..i have never been sad like tiz before, too..

i want some time wit myself but i dont wanna be alone.
i am dependent..deep inside me is a child who is xo weak && fragile.
i want to show people tat am tired && sick..but i just cant..
some people rely on me for strength..&& it's hard. it's really hard being me.. [[i just dropped a tear..]] just the thought of it makes me weak..makes me sad.
the sound && the vision of it makes it worse && worst respectively. :s


can some angel out there help me spread my wings again??
i am a fallen angel. my wings are broken..i cant fly. teach me how to fly again..make me white again..puhleeze..!

or help me swim the way i did when i defeated all the other sperms..&& successfully conquered tat egg..

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