kiss dating g0odbye?

went to mall today to buy pipe..&& guess what!?..i f0und n0 pipe at all..but a "summerh0od chum",)

i really didn't expect that we would meet..ohkee..cause the truth is..am hiding fr0m that pal..

first off..am kinda having c0unter transference everytime friend of mine is ar0und since the pal reminds me of s0me0ne..&& i think this is the reas0n why i am infatuated wit this 'summerh0od chum'..&& it has been like almost a year nah..

but then friend of mine had d0ne s0mething n0t likely to be appreciated && obvi0usly..i hate it..&& d0nt wanna talk b0ut it..

n0w..hatred has subside already..but my pride..again..erg0, i have to pretend..

then came approaching as saying:

"Hey! Been long time since we hang-out, so great to see you here."

i marked:

"Have to buy imp0rtant stuff...[[blahh blahh blahh]] Having t0ugh time sleeping."

[[m0ving t0wards pal's car..]]

summerh0od chum:

"About the thing that you texted... Are you sure about it?"

m0i:

"That's the best way...f0r b0th of us."

[[STUPID!!!]]

summerh0od chum:

"Okay, can... Can I hug y0u then?... f0r the last time..."

m0i:

..

[[superb speechless!..]]

*n0dded*

menn!..it was the l0ngest hug evurr!..&& i was perspiring to death!.. ö

we even made out!..the first && the last time..[[n0t minding the peep0l that pass by..]] ö

it was magical!..the feeling of pil0erecti0n && regret that mixed..x0o suicidal!..i'd really h0pe i can directly say things to my chum..like..

"Ei, it was just my effing pride! Can I keep y0u? Even as a friend??
I d0nt wanna l0se y0u, && that's the truth."

freak!!

i d0nt wanna end up rem0seful ohkee..i have to defend my part!..at least..

s0meh0w i still have my 15% right..

friend of mine is h0oked-up wit s0me0ne else..&& xo am i..

xo what's the p0int of us hanging out when the pal has greater resp0nsibility to an0ther pers0n??..

i guess it was the best way to surcease f0oling ourselves m0re.. ü

but i will surely miss this 'summerh0od chum'..&& that's crap!.. :|