uwan-uwan-ohh-ten!

New Year. my only time to ponder && wonder what had been done && could have been avoided or prevented.

i guess am always the kind of grrl who never goes out of her comfort zone..i build my own Great Wall of China. i confine myself in my own fence promising not to go outside..many people have entered my zone..but little did they know tat they're not even halfway to the main door of my "great wall".) talk about isolation. missed opportunities of everlasting friendship..chances taken for granted for the nth time. i deplored the time when i didnt try to get in touch wit my childhood friends..in return, i didnt know Vienna's favourite colour, as well as Januar's..i didnt even know what they're good at..not even on how they cope up wit life's miseries. i always say tat both of them have changed a lot–-physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally..the truth is, i am the one who went through a complicated metamorphosis. i wish i could be more open to them xo tat i would not have tiz feeling of being a castaway..i wish i could step outside my fence..i wish i could tell them how sorry i was for being neglectful..talk about my selfish pride.

i deplored my silence.

i deplored my isolation.

i deplored my high-and-mighty pride.

i deplored my past commitments.

i deplored my self for NOT being me. :c